The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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