I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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