You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
