I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
