i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it's like iHOP with fire
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize