All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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