dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
