He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
