I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize