Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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