There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
