Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
vagina is talking i cant
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
