Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
