Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
