Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
