Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize