ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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