question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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