so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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