Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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