I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
