You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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