Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
