Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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