I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
