she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Quick, to the slutcave!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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