Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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