Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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