sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I understand Curling. That high.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize