Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
