just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
