just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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