If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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