I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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