I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize