Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
