He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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