come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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