I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
