She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I want her autograph on my taint
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize
