i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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