I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
