My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
