This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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