I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
