That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We smell like vodka and hangover
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