Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
