and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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