It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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