your room smells of hookers.
And success
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
