no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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