I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
