he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
