It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize