What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
