its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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