"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
