She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
