put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
