If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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