I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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