drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
