I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
