i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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