i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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