It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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