I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
