I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
