i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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