Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
