He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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