We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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