Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Terrible idea I love it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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