3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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